hunting | Essay - Zero vs. Thorn

I've been wanting to do this for a while, but I figured I should type this up before I give Zero his Ichiru memory since that's going to make him adopt "Zero." I'll go more into all the details of that in this essay. But the point of all this is to explain WTF is up with Zero at Aather and why he's such a friggin' puppy half the time.

ZERO

First, we will start with what most know about Zero from Vampire Knight and from CFUD. Zero's childhood shows that he is a gentle, protective child who truly doesn't like hurting anyone, but he is also being trained to kill vampires as a Hunter. While young Zero is uncertain of this path, Yagari's loss of an eye to a vampire and Zero's instinctive need to protect and to make up for Ichiru's lack of Hunter ability push him forward. But while the Yagari incident makes Zero wary of vampires, he does not hate them.

Of course, after Shizuka slaughters his parents and turns him into a vampire, everything changes. Zero can only see vampires as beasts like the one that murdered everything he loved, including Ichiru, as he believes. Any vampire is a threat, even the young Kaname who just wants to visit Yuuki. And their connection is enough to raise feelings of resentment and conflict in young Zero because he just can't understand how someone could ever be friendly with a monster. While he reluctantly accepts Cross' later offer to become guardians of the newly formed vampire/human academy, Zero never stops believing that such an ideal puts the human students at risk. And he trusts Kaname least of all, as Kaname is supposed to keep the vampire students in check. All of this turns Zero into a much colder, deeply troubled person, although he still retains his protective and kind nature.

Naturally, turning into a vampire only pushes up his hatred and bitterness because it turns all of that rage inward, something made so much worse when he starts drinking from Yuuki. As much as he hates vampires, he can't stop his savage desire for blood. Zero becomes suicidal and self-destructive. Despite Yuuki's attempts to provide him with stability, he continues to slip and his projected hate against vampires becomes even stronger. Add to that realizing that Ichiru was working with Shizuka and that Kaname is using him to protect Yuuki and to kill an old enemy and you can see why Zero's perspective is a bit... skewed. Then Kaname turns Yuuki into a vampire, which pretty much breaks Zero in some ways. While Zero stays with Cross and the academy out of both love and loyalty, Zero no longer has the partner he can depend on. Even Kaitou is more of someone to watch him, even though Kaitou tries fairly hard to get Zero to get past his issues.

Zero also realizes that his bloodlust can be quelled by fighting and killing vampires so he begins to crave in, a change from when actually killing vampires was still difficult for him, despite his hate. While in the past, Zero could attack in the spur of the moment, killing a subdued vampire has always been difficult for his gentle nature. And now, it's the only thing that maintains his sanity, even with the blood tablets ~~which are probably evil and going to do horrible things to him.~~

So yeah, Zero despises vampires and has to despise vampires to function. He struggles with how he feels with Yuuki, but that fact remains. It's all he has.

This is essentially how I play Zero in CFUD so people may be used to a lot of snappishness, unwarranted bitchery, authoritarianism and generally Zero being a dick, until you break through his guards. Unguarded Zero is much more toppable and willing to do what it takes to make those close to him smile. He is also always willing to risk his life and will protect others with everything he has. Then there's his vampire dealings, which are skewing his world view, but that's neither here or there so.

THORN

Thorn is Zero without all that emotional baggage so reverted back to his gentle and protective self. Still, a bit too serious, which makes him still a bit judgey, kills his tact at times and still makes him like 'no touchy,' but not necessarily closed-off as he is in canon. Thorn values two things above all else in Aather: protect people and help them be happy. If Thorn upsets you, Thorn is UPSET and will practically fall all over himself in attempts to make it better. Thorn really likes people. Thorn also tends to beat himself up a lot when he thinks he's failing as a knight, either due to a badly played game or being unable to help the teams with the loss of a teammate. Thorn is also very devoted to his job and takes it super seriously, hence his no-nonsense quests, which while not always hard will always have a purpose that can be applied to some type of scale. He will also bitch at knights who give what he considers "flighty" quests because TAKE YOUR JOB SERIOUSLY MAN. Thorn's love of people and his devotion to his job are also what make him a bitch about people trying to kill themselves because NO STOP BEING STUPID I WILL KICK YOUR ASS.

Then there is Thorn and Beauty. Thorn never even considers allying with Maleficent because Thorn is loyal through and through. This does not mean that he believes his patron is entirely justified in what she does or even that he believes she even knows what she's doing half the time. And he's not afraid to tell her that. Quite angrily. Because her competence is essential to keeping the teams safe, which, as said, is SUPER PRIORITY to Thorn. But while he will bitch at her and scold, he will always eventually calm down and return to his loyal knight position. Because this is what Zero does. He also gets that, fail or not, Beauty needs her knights, and he will continue to be that. Even if it does really bother him that she can't save her knights from getting trapped in the forest or even stop the return of a hero that was previously Booked. SO MUCH FAIL. ARGH. But yes, Beauty-sama is still Beauty-sama and if push came to shove, he would probably defend her decisions against others, while acknowledging that yes she is... difficult.

But loyalty to Beauty and Sterling does not equal any off feelings toward Onyx, as Thorn is especially fond of Chariot. This relationship and on-and-off talks with Sion have essentially made Thorn view Onyx as just another knight team, equally eager to protect the heroes. With the exception of Sword, who is just... yeah. So this is pretty much what he tells new people entering Aather. They are only differentiated by who they serve. That said, Thorn does not have a high opinion of Maleficent, mostly because she annoys him and there's no loyalty to soften that. It's more mrrr than general dislike though.

And now for the main part that I'm sure we're all here for: THORN AND VAMPIRES.

So Thorn's first memory is of helping Aidou and occasionally bitching at him for being hella annoying. I did this on purpose because I want Zero to have a really interesting character arc in his descent from happy Zero to bitter Zero. Since a huge part of Zero's issues is vampires and we have Souya and Kaname (the known vampires) at Aather, I thought it would be interesting to confuse those feelings with ones of amiability. Thus, Thorn starts out believing he goes to school with vampires and while they're supposed to keep away from the humans, he's OKAY with this. It also helps that he has no idea whatsover what a vampire is, beyond needing blood. Souya fills in the blanks with his demon definition. THANKS AGAIN SOUYA. One that he readily shares with others.

Being that Souya is the first vampire Thorn meets, his view of vampires is immediately skewed. Souya is a nice, too friendly guy who shows leadership and cares about the teams. That's good. Even if it's very off-putting that he needs to ask people to drink their blood at times. That's... not exactly preferable. But Thorn deals and tries not to hold this too much against him.

Then there's Kaname/William. As a fellow knight, Thorn takes to William quickly and strikes up a sorta not-quite friendship with him. William reflects the same knight interests as Thorn so he's all right. Learning that William is also a vampire kind of shakes him up because it introduces more of those conflicted feelings over whether he should have issues with someone who drinks people's blood. But again, DEALING since well, that's what William is and he can't do much about it. He's still a good guy. It also helps that Thorn believes William works with him and Daisy back home to keep the more reckless vampires in line. Now, introducing that fact that William turned Daisy into a vampire... that's a bit of another story.

Thorn also took a bit to Daisy since they come from the same place and seem friendlyish from back home. He also sees Daisy as a nice, happy person, who's good at calming the situation. So realizing that William made her into a vampire was a PRETTY HARD THING TO TAKE for him. But William also had a reason; she was going insane. And William seemed mostly concerned and bothered about it himself so it was harder to tear into him. This forced Thorn to think about what being a vampire really meant. And while it seemed like such a wrong thing for someone like Daisy to be, Thorn didn't want her to see herself as wrong either. Because it wasn't her fault and because Daisy was still Daisy. He just wanted to make sure she wasn't too upset about everything. Oh, her being William's sister is obviously a non-issue, and Thorn is mostly glad she has someone close that she can talk to about these things.

Complicating matters is Thorn's opinion of Zero. Thorn is not stupid. He can put together his fangs and daytime problems in connection with William and Daisy. But as he lacks their need for blood and is satisfied with his normal eating habits, it mostly confuses and bothers him. So he doesn't really like people talking about it. He doesn't like showing his fangs and he doesn't like talking about how he's exhausted during the day. He tries to brush it all off. But knowing that Daisy used to be human and maybe William did too, it puts him somewhat on edge. HE DOES NOT TALK ABOUT THIS. But yeah, he considers it. So it makes him all the more disturbed when he hears about doing things like trying to murder Aidou and William in the others' memories. While he can somewhat justify Aidou because Aidou was trying to bite people, it still horrifies him that he went straight for a kill. Especially since he and Daisy are supposed to be the school guardians. What the fuck is wrong with me? That he tried to stab William as a child with no reason. Yeah, that doesn't help. Thorn already disliked seeing he was a bit of a jerk toward Daisy in his memory so this just adds to his negative opinion of his past self.

And therefore, Thorn is in total rebellion with Zero and wants to break away from that crazy person, as he views his other self. This is a different identity crisis than what 'Night' has for Ryner since Ryner is smart enough to know that he is fooling himself and can't pretend he's not the same person; he just doesn't entirely want to be associated with someone he doesn't fully understand and is so incredibly dangerous. Thorn, on the other hand, actively DOES NOT WANT to be Zero. He likes being a nice person who doesn't hate people or vampires just because of what they are, and he wants to stay that way. While he acknowledges his past self, he genuinely wants to start over in Aather. And he intends to. Thorn is deeply ashamed of Zero and wants to make it up to others however he can, which is what tends to send him into puppy mode when William or Daisy is upset. He wants to show that he doesn't have to be the jerk they remember and that he's different here. It also makes him more toppable in this respect and more willing to give in. So yes, puppy.

Now, with Thorn's recent memory, he will probably take to calling himself Zero. I wasn't sure how this was going to work out since Thorn hasn't received any memories before. I saw Thorn as rejecting his name for a bit, especially given how he dislikes his past self immensely. But as 'Zero' is now attached to his twin brother and he's going to feel that 'lack of connection' and 'missing' part because Ichiru is not here, he will take 'Zero' to maintain some type of link to his twin. But he still will emphasize that he no longer has to be the same type of person he was and is also wondering how he became like that since he seemed perfectly kind with his twin. Maybe he only acts nice around him. Ichiru needs it more after all since he's so sick.

On the Hunter thing, since Thorn knows he's used a gun in the past and since he knows part of his skills are tied into hunting and that he really really seems to hate vampires... yes, Thorn is starting to put things together as to the TYPE of Hunter he is. He might talk about this with his friends, but NOT with any vampires. This bothers him a lot and is another of those things he's going to try to break away from. The skills are useful so he doesn't necessarily have to use them for bad purposes so there.

And thus you have Thorn's very special identity crisis in a nutshell. Feel free to ask if you have any questions~ or want something clarified as to how it pertains to YOU.